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Dream

I had this idea, this daydream, during pregnancy, of Hamid and I sitting together in front of our laptops, chattering about designs and strings of code and clients - working away as ever before with a little baby strapped to one or the other of us. The baby in my daydream was totally complicit in my imagining her as silent, and the ease with which we would manage both working from home and changing diapers (although if I'm to be totally honest the baby in my daydreams didn't even imply that diapers would factor in) And wouldn't you know it - there's so much more to being with a little baby than strapping her onto oneself and changing nappies! Odd that after ten years of nannying snd plenty of baby cousins I'd come out of it all with this idea that our baby would be more an appendage, or accessory than a real little person all her own.

Well, thank goodness she is all that and more. Noushafarin has truly lived up to her name (in Persian it means 'creator of joy') and amazes me every single day with just how much space she does take up in the world, insists upon, with her tiny body and developing personality - already larger than life. She has no qualms about letting us know what it is she wants, although she does not at all live up to the two-hours-a-day of crying that is supposedly an average for all babies. This little kitten has made it perfectly clear that she prefers the nest of my two arms to any other possible resting place and I, of course, oblige. She is not a demanding child, just knows where she's happiest. She must have soaked up my philosophy on attachment parenting while she was in utero - good to know we're on the same page.

And so at Nou's behest I've instituted a new 'rule' for myself - when she's awake, my computer is OFF. This means a bit of scrambling once in a while to ensure I keep up with my clients, but the universe (as always) never tosses anything truly impossible my way and we're managing fairly well two months into this grand experiment.

In all of this, I am amazed by her on a daily basis and only wish I had more time to sit and write about all the ways she turns things upside down, for the best. And madly-in-love is such an easy side effect. I'm also finding that not only is she not what I expected but neither am I. The new reality of my life is so much better than any daydream ever was.

Already with the plotting...

3,658 calories

I would love to say I made this myself - you know, inspired in my new motherhood to do the Betty Crocker thing but not so much... I did find the recipe and use my powers of persuasion to get someone else (namely, my mother) to make them for me. So good! I would show you a picture of these delicious Zucchini Blondies but I ate them all already...

Oil (to prevent sticking)
5 tbsp butter, melted
1 tbsp water
1 cup packed brown sugar
1 tbsp flax with 2 tbsp water, whisked (instead of eggs)
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/8 tsp baking soda
1/8 tsp salt
1 medium zucchini, shredded
1/2 cup pine nuts (or whatever nuts you prefer)

Preheat your oven to 350 and lightly grease a 9in pan.
Mix butter and water in a mixing bowl. Add brown sugar, egg substitute and vanilla. Mix some more.
Sift the flour, baking powder, baking soda & salt into the bowl - mix.
Add the zucchini and nuts - mix.
Spread the mixture into your baking pan and bake for about 40 minutes.
Give them to me...

Good Morning!

The only photos we could get before were sleepyheaded because...well...she slept 20 hours a day...