Mental Yoga

I remember the first time I came to Bangalore, for a weekend city-visit after a year of South India's slow pace, long before I'd met H. I was thrilled at the prospect of a manicure and pedicure in a real spa, the shopping, the clubs, a reason for perfume, eyeliner, and wearing something other than a bikini and chappals.

All of that was eventually lost on me when I had actually been living here for three months. And I'd decided it was time to move on to the beaches of Corisca; had packed my bags and shopped ticket prices; had said my goodbyes...
Meeting H was the last thing I expected. Actually, getting married was the last thing I'd expected. But, here we are. Still in Bangalore.

The thing is, for the past few months I wake up with a renewed awe for the beautiful energy of this place, the calm these people carry with them amid the crowds that literally freaked me out for so long.
So far from the reality of my spoiled-girl ideals, I see India, Bangalore in particular, in a totally different light these days. There are no longer those gnawing aspirations to return-to.

Instead of cursing the smog, the incessant honking, and the throngs of people and farm animals, my inability to bake anything for lack of an oven, or the distinct emptiness where bathtubs should be (yes, imagine! A life without Mr. Bubble...) I can see only the good things, the beautiful, interesting things.

India is dirty, and strange, and a fabulous feast for the senses of a three-week tourist - it is also my home. (There was a time I would've ended that sentence with 'for now.')
Finally. I have made some peace with all of it.

I've stopped longing to go elsewhere - although I am still SO excited for the possibility of a visa welcoming me to Iran. I no longer wake up and count the number of days we've been here, or speculate on the number ahead until we can leave.

Wherever I am, no? However that saying goes.

Once again, I can see the charm of the millions of autorickshaws on the roads, the wonderful open-air vegetable markets, even the cows wandering the roads outside our urban apartment. It's all just-darling once again.
And more importantly I'm laughing when things don't go the way I expected - or should I say I've learned not to harbor expectations in the first place?

All because of a little mental yoga towards my connection-to-the-whole and the charming smile and love of one absolute angel.