Wish list

We're scanning the houses available in the PDX metro area, as well as on the wonderfully rainy Oregon coast (although I don't know if either of us is really prepared for the small-town life that would offer) and finding it a fascinating, as well as sobering, lesson.
I think I need a book, 'House Buying for Dummies' - if there is such a thing...there are so many aspects involved in buying a home, things I could never have conceived of. It's overwhelming, but still fun - and at this point is really just virtual window shopping more than anything else.
But instead of Jimmy Choo in the foreground and color/texture/heel size rotating in the back of my mind, I'm contemplating location, view, number of bedrooms...and for once, the price tag of the thing I want scares the heck out of me.
When I buy a pair of designer shoes or a new dress I'm looking at the next season or max, the year ahead; how does it suit what I've already got, and does it make me look/feel fabulous - a house is a whole 'nother ballgame.
When we buy this thing, whenever we find that perfect home, we're looking at paying for it for the next 20 to 30 years. Years. It's like a marriage - "Do you, the account of Tess Strand Alipour and Hamid Alipour take thee, the Bank of Holier Than Thou Mortgages, to be your lawfully wedded (and somewhat tortuous in concept) partner in moneyspending?"
I don't buy things on credit (anymore). The only bills we have to manage are somewhere around a couple hundred dollars a month: server, cel phone, advertising budget, etc. And now we're looking at anywhere from fifteen hundred on up, and that's if we get a decent rate. I haven't had credit cards for years, and I like it that way - a debit card does just fine for managing what needs - and now we're talking mortgage? It's something of a dirty word - extended credit in such large amounts.

My brother, bless his brilliantly Microsoft-nestled heart, purchased a million dollar home on Seattle's waterfront, and then another on the east coast where his gorgeous wife accepted a new job. It boggled my mind, the idea of payments, monthly payments, on a million dollar house...much less two of them. We're looking at tastefully located homes at about a third of that value and I'm still cringing at the prospect of actually paying for it.

Being self employed, in this case, has its drawbacks - as does having not respected the Church of Extended Credit that was a regular house of worship in my early twenties. Banks are unlikely to shower affections upon me, particularly at such an early stage of business growth (as fabulous as it is, does not vouch for me enough to cancel out the damage I did weilding my plastic purchasing weapons.)

It's a reality I've not yet stepped into completely, unlike the Kors that fit the foot like a glove and are relatively easy on the bank account even at the 'fetish' level of purchasing - a house and the massive shouldering of responsibility that accompany such a purchase is something to grow into.